Twenty-Six

In three days I will turn 26. How did that happen? Wasn't I just writing about how scared I was to turn 25? Like yesterday?

I'm not as panicked about 26. I don't know why. I don't think I accomplished anything this year I should be especially proud of. We've sort of half remodeled our kitchen. I've half written a play. I got a pretty substantial raise at work this summer that I'm not totally sure I deserved. But really, I've done nothing.

I'm at a weird place right now. I need a project (as if play-writing and kitchen-remodeling aren't enough!). But not a project like that. I need something personal--like an exercise program, or a writing class, or grad school. I need something that will make me better. Because right now I feel like a need a 10-day nap.

Along these same lines, I decided to dye my hair a few days ago. I needed a change. So I bought a cheap box, and now I look like this. This is what happens when I fall into this weird place.

Like nearly everyone around me, I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Basically, I'm SAD because it's so dark and cold all the time. I haven't spent any time outside, in actual sunlight, or breathed any fresh air in months. Because if I were to step outside, my skin would literally melt off my body from the cold (or something like that--I don't know the science behind frostbite, but I know there's been cold advisories pretty much every day for the three months).

I'm exhausted in the mornings, dragging myself to work where I stare, slightly dazed, at my computer screen for several hours. Then I go home. I make my way to the couch, curl up in blankets and sit there until I can crawl into bed.

I feel meaningless.

Maybe it's because I'm not coaching or directing right now. Those activities at least make me feel connected to other people, and feel at least a little bit like I'm making an impact on those kids. Maybe its because I'm eating garbage all the time and not exercising, so I know I'm putting on weight and hating the way my body looks. Maybe its because I'm just so tired of being cold all the time. Maybe I'm just ungrateful.

Brett and I are going on a date tonight. We'll brave the snow and the terribly-plowed roads because I need to get out of the house. I can't stand sitting at home watching Netflix for another night in a row. It's a weeknight, and we're going to go out and enjoy our lives.

Plus I turn 26 in three days. I might as well accomplish something this year. Even if it's only eating a nine-ounce steak in one sitting.

Kitchen Remodel Part I

So you want to remodel your kitchen? You think it's a pretty good idea, right? Especially since your house was built in the 1950s, and the cabinets are all original. Not only does your kitchen not function well (there's no lazy susan or upper corner cabinet, so the corners are unusable space), it's also hideous. The shelves in the cabinets are too close together, so modern products don't fit standing up. The sink is WHITE acrylic, so it absorbs everything and is constantly stained and filthy looking. The microwave takes up half of the the already-limted counter top, and the fridge is tiny.  Oh, and the cabinets have about six inches of nasty tan PAINT on them, and the "accent" color is officially called "Baby Poo."

Basically, your kitchen looks like this:

No? It doesn't? Your kitchen is actually awesome? So it's just me? Well, this is likely not going to interest you then. Because this post is all about how I'm in the midst of remodeling my kitchen on the smallest of budgets.

Kind of. Actually, that post will be forthcoming. Like when I'm actually done remodeling my kitchen. Right now, it's a giant mess, so I will not be posting photos of my kitchen looking like a giant mess.

This post is about how I've been so busy with this remodel, that I've basically done nothing else with my life. Like, my play is still largely unedited. I haven't hung out with friends in a month. I keep getting sick because I'm running myself ragged. Plus, my DVR is so full of things I need to watch, I don't know if I'll ever catch up! (I'm just kidding about that...I've been pretty good about the important things, like making sure I'm totally caught up on Parks and Rec and Intelligence--and of course, I've watched the Golden Globes and SAG Awards. I'm just in the middle of a remodel; I'm not a monster!)

So, to sum up--my kitchen was hideous and in desperate need of a face lift. I promise I will write a full post some day about everything we did (since we mostly did this ourselves...and by "we mostly did this ourselves," I mean my dad did almost everything) and approximately how much it cost us. I would just like to prove to HGTV that it does not take $75,000 to redo a kitchen. Our remodel was probably closer to $5,000-$7,000--including all new counter tops, appliances, and cabinets. So Hilary Farr can take her $95,000 budget and barely finish one room, and I will scoff at her. And then snot will come out of my face because I've had a sinus infection for the last three months.

But life is good!

New Year

Well, friends, I suppose I should take the time to wax eloquently on the closing of the past year and the beginning of a new one, as it is my first post in 2014. I'm not going to do that, however, because it is January 9. I haven't written here in a very long time.

I have a list of excuses of why I haven't written in a long time if you'd like to hear:
- The holidays - isn't that enough? We only had four Christmases this year, but it was plenty. We were constantly shopping, since we didn't plan well, we only shopped for the Christmas right in front of us, leaving us feeling like we were never going to catch up. Plus, we were involved in our church's Christmas cantata, attended a New Year's Eve party, in addition to work festivities.
- Kitchen remodel - that should also be enough. We tore out the old cabinets, replaced with new ones that we stained and varnished, tore down the old tile backsplash, re-plastered the walls, mounted a new microwave over the stove, bought a dishwasher, replace our faucet, put the old countertop and old sink back in. We are waiting for our dishwasher to come in (should be tomorrow) and install that, our new countertops will arrive in early February and we'll install them with a new sink, then put in a new backsplash and purchase a new stove. So we're about 2/3 of the way done--but we did all of that work between Christmas and New Year's. We were exhausted.
- Work has been busy. Mostly because I was out of the office for 10 days while remodeling our kitchen, so I'm still trying to catch up. It's been fun things though--new design for this year's theme, revamping our solicitation letters, and discussing our office building remodel.
- General laziness. It's been cold. Like double-digit-negative-degrees cold. That has left me mostly huddled in blankets on the couch, and not wanting to do anything that involves getting out from under those blankets. Did I mentioned I've gained like 30 pounds over the holidays?
- I've been writing elsewhere. Not only do I write for work everyday, I've also finished my play. It has days and days of editing left, but it's done. Plus, I've been blogging on another platform recently, and this little blog has been neglected a bit.

So there's my list of excuses. Not exactly the inspirational list of New Year's Resolutions you were looking for? If that's what you were expecting, you may want to check any other blog that exists. You won't find that here this year.