Fantasy

Brett and I have our own fantasy football league. I really can’t decide which is more lame—the fact that he wouldn’t let me be in his regular league with all his guy friends, or that we “compromised” by having our own league—as in we are the only people in the league. We each have two teams, and all four teams are stacked with all the best players in the NFL. And we’re ridiculously competitive about beating each other.

One of my teams (the Hello Kitties) started the season 5-0. They’re now on a 1-5 run. It’s even more lame because every three weeks I play my other team (the Silly Beans). The Hello Kitties only recent win is against the Silly Beans, who are currently beating the Hello Kitties to make both teams’ records 6-5. Matt Forte is dead to me.

I’ve watched Brett play fantasy football for several years now, but this is my first year having my own team. It’s fun, nerdy, and heart-wrenching all at the same time. Since all of our teams have the best of the best players, it all comes down to match-ups when deciding who should play. Picking who should play—Larry Fitzgerald or Wes Welker—is always a tough coaching decision. Then there was the week that three of my best players (including Darren McFadden, who I declined to trade to Brett the day before!) all got hurt. I was so annoyed reading all the dumb updates streaming across the bottom of ESPN. That was the week our internet was out, so we had to guess our scores based on stats. You know, the old fashioned way.

I really didn’t expect to jump on the fantasy football bandwagon. But I’m definitely not as obsessed as Brett—who keeps a spreadsheet of whom he played each week and what their scores were. He says it’s necessary since he’s in 4 leagues and has 5 teams. Whatever. It’s about the nerdiest thing I’ve ever seen. He thinks it's dumb that I bench players the next week if they performed poorly the previous week—you know, as punishment. Fantasy football is seriously a weird hobby, and we all have our own methods.

But Matt Forte is still dead to me.