30-Day Shred

On July 1, I started a journey. A horrible, painful journey--the kind that nightmares are made of. I started Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred.

There's going to be about three blog posts on this adventure. Mostly because if it was only one, it would be so obnoxiously long, you would hate me. But don't worry. This is NOT going to turn into a fitness blog. These posts are the end of it. I promise. 

I kept a journal of my shredding experience. So here's the beginning of why I ever started this in the first place:

Today, I started Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred, because I am insane. For a while now, I've been very...displeased...with my body. Mostly because I feel exhausted all the time (because I like to eat garbage) and slow. I've been running fairly consistently (2-3 days a week), but I'm slow. When I play softball, I can't run out infield hits like I used to, I can't hit the ball out of the infield because my arms are weak. Playing sand volleyball is much harder than it was only a few summers ago. I used to be fast, covering much of the court myself because I had multiple pregnant teammates. Now, if the ball is not within a step of me, I know I have no chance of getting there. Just walking around in the sand for 45 minutes feels like an intense workout. Which is sad.

I’ve also become increasingly displeased with how I look. My sister used to make fun of my arms when we were growing up. I’d be brushing my hair, arms raised above my head, and she’d comment on how ridiculous my biceps were bulging. In high school, the guys called me Seabiscut (…legs like a racehorse), and everyone pointed out how defined (and enormous) my calf muscles were. 

I was brushing my hair a few weeks ago, and noticed my arms. They are large and not muscular in the least. They are weak. I’ve gone up several jean sizes since I’ve been married. I get tired when I have to walk long distances (like across a parking lot). I know this is all very vain, but it’s also very honest. I do not like the way my body looks. 

Yes, I have never been a skinny minnie. I never plan to be. My shape has always been “athletic.” That’s all I plan to be now. I want to be strong and healthy. But I also want to look good.  

Thus, The Shred. I’m a natural competitor (understatement). The idea of an intense workout program that promises results and only requires a 30-day commitment was incredibly appealing to my hyperbole personality. I like working out hard. I like sweating. I like pushing myself—but recently, I haven’t known how. I run, I lift occasionally, but I wasn’t doing anything that was really pushing myself. So I enlisted Ms. Michaels. Well-known drill sergeant. 

We’re busy during the summer, so a 30-minute workout is ideal. I don’t have an hour or more to spend doing something like P90X or Insanity. Plus, when I’ve tried workouts like that, many of the moves are much too advanced for me. I can’t even get a workout in because I’m too weak to do the workout which is supposed to help me work out (which is possibly the saddest, most frustrating feeling in the world). And dance workouts are out of the question. 

30 days seems realistic. I get bored with workouts (okay, I get bored with most things that last any extended amount of time). I tend to get really pumped and excited about trying new things…and then the novelty wears off, and I’m so over the whole thing (which is why Brett calls me “Hyperbole”). 

Another great reason for this Shred timing is because we are going on our annual Family Vacation the first full week of August. I’m completing The Shred for the month of July, so I will just be finishing up in time for vacation—hopefully ready to wear a swimming suit and hike some gorgeous Up North trails without feeling like I’m going to die. 

Do I expect to be Kate Upton by the end of 30 days? No. I just want to be a better version of Lindsay. 

Hopefully, I toned, muscular, strong, and skinny version of Lindsay.